S/R #9

Synthesis: Gender roles have shaped America’s views on what makes a family and what roles parents play in this family. These gender roles have turned into cultural norms and have really become expectations or assumptions. These expectations/assumptions are difficult to get out of.

In the past the traditional and accepted family is made up of a father (male), a mother (female) and children (either sex) but this traditional family is having a difficult time surviving. Males have always been referred to as the “bread winner” of the family. This generally means that they are the sole financial provider of the family. Women have always been known as the “home maker” or more commonly referred to as “Martha Stewart”. In other words, the woman takes care of the home and the family. These traditional roles have been enforced by the media and can be seen in television commercials for children’s toys. Girls get the dollhouses, or cooking stations. Boys get cars, trucks, or doctor’s kits. Within the past few decades new work opportunities have become available to women yet they are still expected to keep home and take care of the family. Where the pressure to be this “super mom” has begun to steadily increase, there is almost no pressure on the father… or is there?

Kathleen Gerson wrote an article talks about the dilemmas of being a father. In this article she says that, “social disapproval and economic inequality put full-time domesticity out of reach for almost all men.” The social disapproval comes from the traditional gender roles and the assumption that men are not domestic and make all, or most, of the money. I believe the phrase; “married to one’s job” fits this assumption. Economic inequality also plays into society’s assumption of a man’s role in the family. Due to the traditional role that women take care of the family makes it easier for them to take time off of work. It is also common for women to receive pay during their time off. This is often used when a woman is pregnant or adopting a very young child. This paid time off is known as “maternity leave”. This does not exist for men. It has become a norm to have a two-income household. In many cases now days, even with paid leave, a family cannot afford to have both parents take time off of work.

This specific article was especially interesting to me. I have lived in both a two-parent home as well as a single parent home. I don’t personally remember what it was like to live in a two-parent home but my mother has told me about it. At the time of my adoption my father owned his own construction business and my mother was a full time speech pathologist but reduced her hours by half. My mother did not need to work because my father’s business was very successful, but she enjoyed working. As a business owner my father could make his own hours, especially after they received me. He did not reduce his hours and I never received an answer as to why. A few years ago I read an article that talked about Sweden trying to entice men to take a “maternity leave”. The government was attempting to keep men in the home after the birth of their children. The government was essentially offering a “maternity leave” for men. This included paid time off as well as some family benefits. I wonder if this would be a program for America.

I’d also like to briefly touch on the documentary that we say today, Daddy and Papa. In this documentary gay fathers were interviewed and their stories of adoption, in all but one, were told. After watching this documentary I wondered what these men did for a job. In two of the cases, children were raised in a two-parent household, but one household had infants. I am curious if both of them had jobs and if so was a type of leave taken.